Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
