Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
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