Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
