Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
