So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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