Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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