Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
