Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Randomize
