if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
