so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
