Can Purell be used as lube?
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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