So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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