I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
