Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
