I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
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