I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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