How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
