i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
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