I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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