whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
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