is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
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