Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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