Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
