he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
