Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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