$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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