just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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