I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
