Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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