Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
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