I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
