A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
