So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
