like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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