just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
