I have demons in me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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