I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
