He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
