Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Randomize
