Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
