...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
