the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
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