i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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