Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
