Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
