So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
