I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize