She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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