I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
