I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
