we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
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