Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
