Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
