She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
