Clothes are such an inconvenience.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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