Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
