fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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